Sinking into realization
by BittersweetBiteMarks
Summary: One of the nights Bella spends during her depression. During NM. Please read and review : thanks! x


**Bonsoir, amigo's! Ca va?**

**Oui, oui, well this is a oneshot. Not carrying it on, sorry! So, Bella's depressed and stuff...Yeah.**

**Can you read it? Personally I think it's crap but YOU decide! This ones for uh..all you Twilight fans? (:**

_I was walking through the forest, all alone. It seemed as if no-one was here, no-one had ever been here I stumbled my way through the trees, snagging my shirt on loose branches and weeds.  
__"H-Hello?" I called out; my voice was shaky, but defined. Anyone would be able to hear me, human or not. I carried on making my way throughout the overgrowth, no animals were here, no birds in the shy, or deer's looming in the shadows; it was empty, as if I were the only one left.  
__"Is anyone there?" My voice echoed around the forest, getting fainter with each passing moment, until stopping abruptly. My jagged breaths and erratic heartbeat were the only things to be heard.  
__I started to run now, my arms flailing uselessly behind me. Someone had to be here, anyone.  
__Tears unleashed themselves, falling from my eyes.  
__"Please! Don't leave me here!" I screamed. A sudden sense of dread filled my body, as I realised something.  
__It was as if I was meant to be alone, lost forever.  
_

I shot up in bed screaming.

I was alone, I was cold and I was scared.

Perspiration slid down my neck and face, smouldering together with the tears which were falling freely. I felt like I was drowning in it.

A sob racked my body as I struggled to move, my stiff bones ached from neglection. I pushed that thought to the back of my head, and lunged the top half of my body forward, bringing up my knee's and hugging them close to my chest, rocking silently.

I needed him, I needed Edward.

A dull pain streaked my body, making me flinch. I slowly pulled my arms away from my legs and around my torso; holding together all the broken pieces, keeping them from falling apart. It pained me to think about him. It hurt me to think about being alone; it hurt _all the time.  
_After a few minutes to seconds, I stopped caring about time after it happened, after my world was thrown into darkness, I stopped screaming. My throat was dry and scratchy, I was in desperate need for a drink, but I couldn't be bothered to leave the comfort of my bed. I coughed; it came out as a strangled cry, sending a dry pain in my throat in the process. Shakily, I lifted my arm up to my cheek, furiously scrubbing at the silent tears that rolled down my check, and shakily returned it around my torso.  
My head turned to the side and my eyes dragged towards the clock.

**03:24AM**

Great.

I wouldn't be able to get to sleep again.  
My heard turned again, facing the window. It was as if I was a robot. My movements' my thoughts even my dreams were controlled.  
Same thoughts, same movements, same dreams running endlessly on, day and night.

A soft breeze came through the window, dancing around me, playing with me hair. I know I should be cold, I know my too-fragile shivering but it doesn't. It's as if I'm used to the cold, the breeze that meets me every night. It's the only think that acknowledges I'm alive anymore. I watched the night sky, the dark figures of clouds as they moved slowly across the sky, drowning my eyes in the darkness.  
That's all I ever seem to do these days; drown.  
The tree just outside of my window loomed over, blocking my vision from the moon, all that was too see was the clouds. I wonder what moon it is tonight, half? Full? Maybe even a new moon.

I removed my arms from my torso, holding my knee's again. I sunk my eyes into my knees, sighing to myself.  
Suddenly the phone rang from downstairs, it's loud, shrill ring echoed around the house making me jump slightly. Who would be calling at this time? I mused to myself, lifting my head and resting my chin on top of my knees. The shrill rings were beginning to annoy me and Charlie too, obviously as I heard his groans as he rolled out of bed.  
I very faintly heard him open his door, and walk slowly down the stairs. The rings had stopped now, and I welcomed the silence. It seemed as if the breeze had got bored with me now, as it was getting sharper, pushing on my bare shoulders and exposed neck. The phone conversation Charlie was having and the breeze had both lost my interest now, and slid my legs down picking up the duvet in-between my hands, knotting it around each finger separately.  
After awhile I heard Charlie slam the phone down, and hurriedly make his was through the hallway, up the stairs and into his bedroom. There was a short silence before Charlie started mumbling incoherently to himself, it sounded like _Bloody kids _but who was I to know? I heard Charlie make his way down the hall, towards my room. He stopped outside of my door, taking a deep breathe before slowly opening the door.

"Bells?" He whispered softly, I turned my head towards him, to see him standing awkwardly inside my room, fully geared up in his police uniform. He was always at work these days, spending more time than necessarily now. Avoiding me.  
"Err…I have to go to work, some kids have caused some trouble over by Newton's. I'll be home tonight, seven at the latest. I'll bring pizza home with me. So you won't have to cook tonight." My eyes shot to his face, and he visibly flinched when our eyes met. His eyes darted around my room, before settling on the window. "Anyway, I have to go. I'll see you tonight." His eyes briefly met mine before looking down. "I love you, Bells." He whispered the last part, before closing the door and hurrying downstairs.

I opened my mouth, whispering four words back to him.

"I love you too." My voice cracked and a single tear ran down my pallid sunken cheeks.

**Oui Oui! And Mais oui! Thats it. Nudaa. Finito!**

**Crappio? Bein? YOU decide! (: Much love, please review, it makes me happy.**

**And I'll post some more stories up. I'd like to note; this isnt my best writing, so dont be put of, and please read my other storie(s)**

**x**


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